Star Girl

  Star Girl

  By Alan VanMeter

  Copyright 2015: By Alan VanMeter

  All rights reserved.

  Table of Contents: (Please note that all chapters are bookmarked.)

  Chapter 1: 5

  Chapter 2: 45

  Chapter 3: 77

  Chapter 4: 111

  Chapter 5: 150

  Chapter 6: 189

  Chapter 7: 227

  Chapter 8: 292

  Chapter 9: 329

  Chapter 10: 351

  Epilogue: 379

  Dedicated to the brave men and women of the secret shadow

  command, that are colonizing the stars as you read this.

  Chapter 1

  My mommy and daddy are angry at each other again, and they are yelling at each other. It is something about money I think, as he is accusing her of sharing her honey pot with someone else. Maybe she really was sharing honey with them, because he says that was supposed to be for him to taste alone. Daddy is really angry, and he storms out of the house after he punches a big hole in the wall next to mommy’s head. I am screaming and crying now. He scared me!

  Mommy hugs me crying, and she soothes my own fit, before she takes me to my bed. I fall asleep pretty soon, but I wake up sobbing without control, and after a little bit, mommy comes in to see what’s wrong. She hugs me and kisses me with weary sleepy eyes.

  “What’s the matter pumpkin?” She asks, rubbing my back.

  “Why was daddy so mean to you mommy?”

  “Oh…” she sighs. “It’s not your daddy’s fault Stephanie. Mommy did something stupid that made him angry. It’s my fault baby, not his. Okay?”

  “What did you do mommy?”

  “Something you wouldn’t understand my love. I just hope daddy can forgive me for it.”

  In the morning daddy is not home, and I ask mommy where he is.

  “I don’t know baby.” She starts crying, and sobbing.

  Now I go hug my mommy, like she did for me. “It will be okay mommy. It will.”

  “Oh Stephanie, god I hope so.” She is shaking.

  Daddy didn’t come home though. He just went away. I haven’t seen him in so long.

  “Mommy, will I ever see daddy again?” I ask because I know he loves me, he always told me he did. I believed him!

  “Yes sweetie, you will see him again. Just not with him and I together Stephanie. We are getting divorced baby.” Tears run from her eyes.

  “What’s that mommy?”

  “We will not be together again, that’s what.” She sobs.

  “Why not mommy?”

  “It was that stupid thing I did, that made him so angry baby. He’s going to live his own life now, and I guess so will I.”

  “Maybe he won’t stay mad at you mommy?”

  “Yes, he always will Stephanie.”

  “Will he stay mad at me too?”

  “Oh god baby… he’s not mad at you at all. Daddy still loves you with all his heart. He did tell me to tell you that. He will see you soon, and he can explain everything else… if he chooses.”

  “He said that?”

  “Yes my love, he did.”

  “I hate this mommy! Why can’t you make it like it was?”

  “I am so sorry Stephanie… I screwed up my whole family… my whole life. Oh god.” She hugs on me crying a fit.

  “Why did you do that to us mommy? Why?”

  “I wasn’t thinking clearly, oh god my damn pussy! I can’t control it.”

  “Where’s your pussy mommy? We don’t have a cat, do we?”

  “I’m sorry baby… god I am so sorry.”

  “Maybe daddy can help you control your pussy, momma?”

  “He tried…oh shit. He did try. He’s just not what could do it. I did want to be with him though. He really is a very good man.”

  “I know momma, he’s the best!”

  “Yes, yes he is the best man I’ve ever known… as far as straight up, stand up guys go. Too bad.”

  “What’s a pussy mommy? A kitty cat?”

  “You’ll learn soon enough my love. God I just hope you have more control over yours than I do mine.”

  “If I see your kitty cat momma, I’ll tell him he’s a bad kitty. What does he look like? Why haven’t I seen him before?”

  “It’s a she baby, and she likes to hide. That’s why. Unless mister raging stud shows up.” She sighs heavily.

  “Who’s mister Raging Stud momma?”

  “I do hope you meet him someday Stephanie, on your own terms and time though. Just don’t settle for comfort and security over what you really want baby.”

  “Is he a nice man momma?”

  “The nicest sweetie. You will like him, I promise. Whoever he may be for you.”

  “Is that why daddy is mad, because you gave your honey pot to mister Raging Stud?”

  “Yes baby.” She sobs some more.

  “We can buy more honey at the store momma, so daddy won’t be mad any more. We can buy a bunch to fill your pot again.” I see the easy solution, come on!

  “Oh I wish it worked like that Stephanie, god how I do.”

  “I have almost fifteen dollars in my piggy bank momma, that’s enough. It has to be!”

  “Baby, it is not like that. I’m sorry. This is beyond your comprehension.”

  “I hate mister Raging stud mommy. He ate daddy’s honey!”

  “You won’t always feel that way Stephanie.”

  “Yes I will!”

  Two days go by and then my daddy finally comes back, but just to take me with him to his new home, or apartment as he called it. I am so glad to be with him again, but now my momma is not here. It isn’t right!

  “Daddy, are you ever going to love me and mommy again?”

  “I always have, and always will love you my precious.” He hugs me kissing my head. Then he sighs. “And unfortunately I will also always love your mommy too. I just cannot be with her any longer my love.”

  “Is that because she gave your honey to mister Raging Stud daddy?”

  “What the hell? Did your momma tell you that Stephanie?”

  “Yes daddy, she said she was so sorry she did too. I can fix it daddy, we can buy some more honey for her pot. I have money!”

  “Oh my god… that bitch!” he growls.

  “No daddy, I can fix it! It’s easy.” I hug him tightly to let him know it is true.

  “Oh baby, god you are all that matters! I’m sorry Stephanie, I just got angry again. I’ll control it.” He looks at me with a sure smile.

  “I told momma that I would tell her kitty cat that she was bad for not letting momma control her.”

  “What?”

  “Her pussy cat is out of her control daddy. If I ever see it, I’ll tell her to stop it.”

  “The freaking bitch…” he groans.

  “Please daddy, we can make it like it was…please.”

  “Oh my lord Stephanie, oh…” He starts bawling, hugging me, and it scares me. I start crying too.

  It never went back to how it was. Momma and me live without daddy now, and I only get to go be with him every other weekend. Sometimes not even then as he has to do his duty stuff for the Air Force once in a while. On my seventh birthday both my momma and daddy are at my party, but then daddy has to leave soon. Momma has another man come to visit her, and take her out on dates now. I asked her if he was mister Raging Stud, and she just winked at me with a silly smile. His name is Steve, I guess Raging Stud is his last name. He is nervous around me, and I don’t like him. He’s the man who stole daddy’s honey from mommy’s pot. So I just stay away from him.

  My second grade year starts a couple weeks after my birthday, and I hate it from the start. My teacher, Mister Duncan, is very mean, and loud. He treats us kids
like we are his belongings, ordering us always to do just as he says. I hate him! So the second week of school I spit on him as he is yelling at me. He grabs me by the ear and yanks me over his knee, then spanking me with very hard smacks.

  “You dirty little cunt!” he yells as he whacks me into a severe crying fit.

  Later on the way home I tell momma what he did, and said. She stops the car, and has me tell her again. We go right back to school, and she takes me into the Principal’s office where she begins yelling and shouting at him. Mister Duncan comes in after a few minutes, and the Principal demands to know if he said and did what he did. He lies outright, and denies doing that.

  “You are a damn liar Mister Duncan!” I yell and spit on him again.

  “You goddamn cunt!” he shouts in response.

  That is enough for the principal to fire him on the spot, and then the principal is so apologetic to my mother, and even me.

  Later I ask my mom, “What’s a cunt momma?”

  “That is nothing but a derogatory hurtful cuss word baby. It means that mister Duncan is a damn moron.”

  “What’s it supposed to mean?”

  “It’s slander for a woman’s sexual organ.”

  “What’s that?”

  “It is where you pee from baby, that special thing is one of your private parts. Your vagina.”

  “Oh, why does it have different names then?”

  “Because it has many different aspects to it my love, I suppose.”

  “Are boys different there momma?”

  “Oh yes!” She raises her brows.

  “How?”

  “They have a penis, a sex organ that matches a vagina in every opposite way.”

  “Huh?”

  “You will learn soon enough my little girl, soon enough, but not today.” She giggles.

  “Why did Mister Duncan call me by my vagina then?”

  “Because he is an evil son of a bitch baby, that’s why.”

  “I hate him.”

  “Me too.” Momma frowns.

  The next weekend with my daddy I tell him about the evil Mister Duncan, and daddy gets so mad, even worse than when he left from our house that night. He calls mommy and he shouts in the phone a while, and I hear mommy shouting back. Finally daddy apologizes to mommy and tells her that she did the right thing. I am so hopping he tells her he loves her, but he doesn’t. After he hangs up though, he does hug me and tell me how very much he loves me.

  That first year mommy and daddy split up I missed daddy spending Christmas with us, but then I got to so stay with him for a week at Easter. Mommy has sure changed, she likes to go out a lot, and so she leaves me with a babysitter too much. I’m not a baby! I don’t need a baby sitter. When my second grade year is over I get to go be with daddy for the summer. He lives in the same city as we do, Omaha, but now he lives on the other side of town.

  One of the first mornings staying at daddy’s place I wake up and there is a strange woman fixing breakfast.

  “Well good morning, you must be Stephanie. I’m your daddy’s friend Melissa.”

  “Hi, where’s my daddy?”

  “He’s still asleep.”

  “Do you live here with my daddy?”

  “No, I just visit him sometimes.”

  “Oh. Okay.”

  “Would you like some fresh made pancakes Stephanie, and maybe some sausage and hash browns to go with them?”

  “Yeah.” I nod with a smile. This lady is nice. “Melissa, are you my daddy’s new lover?”

  She takes a sharp deep breath. “Umm, I’ll let your daddy explain that to you sweetie.”

  Just then daddy joins us looking all sleepy.

  “Explain what?” He asks.

  “That Melissa is your new lover daddy.” I tell him as he kisses Melissa good morning.

  He blinks at me. “Who told you that word baby?”

  “What word?”

  “Lover.”

  “Oh, mommy did. That’s what she calls all the guys that stay over with her.”

  “All the guys? How many Stephanie?”

  “Usually just two, but sometimes three or four.”

  “I don’t understand baby.” He shakes his head, and Melissa has a strange frown on her face too.

  “For breakfast, usually she just has two lovers stay over, but sometimes three or four will be there.”

  Daddy gets so mad, that he skips breakfast, and goes to stay in his room talking on the phone.

  I never did go back to live with mommy after that. Instead I got to stay with daddy all the time, and I like it better. He spends so much more time with me, and not going out. His lover friend Melissa stays with us regularly, and I really like her. She likes to talk to me, and do things with me, not like mommy. I still get to see mommy once in a while, but daddy always stays with me when we go visit her.

  I go to a new school for my third grade, near daddy’s apartment. It takes me a while before I make a new friend, but when I do; I know this girl will be my best friend forever. Her name is Carly, and she’s the cutest girl in the whole school. I am the smartest kid in the whole school myself, and I have the scores to prove it. Everybody knows it, and I tell my daddy and Melissa that I am. They agree completely, and so I know it’s true.

  Just before my Easter visit with mommy, my daddy buys a new house, and we move not too far from where we were. I make sure that I will not be changing schools again, as I can’t leave my best friend Carly, no way! Daddy assures me that he already thought of that, and that my school will not change. Then for Easter, I go with my mommy alone with her back to Indianapolis to spend the weekend with my Grandma Katie, and Grandpa Joe. I love them both so much, because every time they have visited before; they always bring me nice presents and spend time playing with me. I know they love me, but mommy is not like them. I know she loves me too, but it also seems like I get in her way all the time. Just by how frustrated I make her when asking things.

  This weekend mommy tells us all that she is moving out to Los Angeles, and that her visits with me and grandpa, and grandma will be fewer. That makes me go hug Grandma Katie with tears, and she tells me that she and Grandpa Joe will come visit me more often. Now it is not so bad.

  They take me to see the zoo, and to see a movie in a theater, something I have rarely done, as most the time daddy just rents video disks. It is so much more fun with the popcorn, and soda pop, as Grandpa Joe calls any soft drink; than just being at home. I love watching movies with daddy and Melissa, but it’s just better somehow at the theater. Maybe it is that Grandma and Grandpa Kilmer know how to have such fun.

  Too soon we are driving back to Omaha, and mommy wants to tell me how she will miss me. I don’t believe her, she’s not a very good liar. She wants to go away, so I say go.

  Carly and I are very sad near the end of our fifth grade year. Next year we will both be attending different schools, and won’t get to see each other every day, though we do know where each other live, so it is not the end of our friendship by any means. I have come to realize that I would really like to kiss her, to French kiss her, and feel her up. She’s so pretty, and cute with her sandy blonde hair and big green eyes. Other girls don’t make me feel like that, and guys certainly don’t, yuck! Just Carly, she’s the girl for me.

  The only problem is, how do I tell her this, without risking our friendship? I know she likes boys, because she has told me who she has a crush on; Billy Hill, a smart mouthed little brat in our class, gross! That’s why I can’t tell her how I feel. I don’t know what to do, and it bothers me big time.

  Of course dad see’s that something’s bothering me. “Steph, what’s going on? Come on, talk to me.”

  “Oh god dad, I can’t tell you. You wouldn’t understand.”

  “Then let me be confused with you baby. That’s what families do.” He smiles.

  “You promise to not be judgmental.” I demand.

  “Okay, I promise.” He crosses his heart with his finger.

  “
I have a crush on someone, but I can’t tell them I do.”

  “Oh. Well why can’t you tell them?”

  “It would ruin a friendship.”

  “I see. That is sticky problem baby. Hmm, are you sure it would ruin the friendship?”

  “Probably.”

  “Well then, if the friendship is more important to you, probably as it should be, then you’ll just have to suffer the crush, of the crush.”

  Just then Melissa comes home from her work, she’s been living with us for a couple years now.

  “Hello my loves. Oh… you so make it worth it. Just seeing you two.” She smiles warmly.

  “Make it worth what?”

  “All that crap I just put up with.” She sighs.

  Dad gives her a big hug and a wet kiss. “You don’t have to work baby, now that I’m a full bird Colonel we can afford it if you didn’t, you know that.”

  “I know sweetie, but that wouldn’t be fair to either of you. Besides, I’m saving up for something.”

  “Oh? What?”

  “You’ll see.” She giggles. “So what’s going on with you two?”

  “Oh I was just talking to Steph about her first crush, that’s all.” He shrugs.

  Melissa’s eyes light up. “Oh Steph, yeah! Way to go girl, so who’s the lucky guy?”

  I can’t say a word, they won’t understand.

  “What, the cat got your tongue girl? Oh, I see. It’s a secret crush.”

  I nod.

  “So, what are you going to do about it?” She smiles real big leaning her elbows on the counter, and she gives me a playful wink.

  I just shake my head, and the tears come running.

  “Oh, oh. Stephanie baby. I’m sorry.” She is suddenly worried.

  Dad rubs her back. “It’s okay baby, she can’t do anything about it, or she’ll ruin a friendship.”

  “Oh god. I’m so sorry Steph.” Melissa comes and sits next to me at the table, hugging me with tears of her own falling.

  “It’s okay Mel, I just don’t know what to do, that’s all.”

  “There’ll be other guys baby, trust me.”

  “It’s not a guy.” I let squeak from my lips.

  Suddenly it is very quiet.